We had a big ash mess on Friday. I thought I would blog this on Saturday, but my coals were not through smouldering. I am completely cool now. Let me create the scene.
Mommy has left her children in the living room watching Toy Story 3. I have done this on many an occasion while I try to get something done just one wall over with the door open. I do not like to make it a habit, but sometimes business must be taken care of. I realize it is not my TWO 9 year olds responsibilities to fully take care of the siblings; however, I would hope they are old enough to report to me an emergency situation. (I must insert here that most of the time they are wonderful at short-term supervision, and they have never had a lapse in judgement such as this. I might not have written this whilst I was still smouldering, but time has allowed me to put things into perspective.) I would have thought that the eruption of Mt. Haas, err..should I say Mt. Colton Haas, would justify as an emergency. On this day, it did not.
Make special note here that said Mommy had only had a couple of hours of sleep the night before. She had also only had very limited hours of sleep that week for various reasons. I was also on a deadline. I had met other deadlines throughout the week, but this one was pushing it. This would tell you that said Mommy was low on sleep, low on nutrition, low on patience...well, I am sure this is not unlike anyone else in the world at many times in their lives. So I am sure the feeling is well understood.
I go in to check on the kids several times, and at quick glance all appears well. (There were no lights on in the room and shades mostly down to watch the movie.) Finally, I go in because I am supposed to get Kevlie Ann to a birthday party, and we still needed to get a gift. When the lights came on, I saw the complete destruction that had been hidden in the darkness. My creative and train-loving son, Colton, had decided that the fireplace ashes made for great steam and smoke! The ground was covered in at least a 1/4 inch of ash. Kylee's jumperoo and toys were covered. The windowsill was covered. The ash even made it on to the mantle and entertainment center and on my drapes. There was ash on the furniture and even up and down the long entryway hall and table. I can be guilty of some embellishment at times, but I am not exaggerating at all. In my boggled state, I did stop to take pictures. I have proof. (You will notice that I had already started cleaning before the pics were taken.)
I am happy to report that not a single spanking was given. This power to refrain from corporal punishment only came from Christ. I was furious and absolutely beside myself at why nobody bothered to report this situation. I kept reminding myself that someday I would laugh at this situation, but that did not help.
The pic above is proof that I remained calm because he fell asleep during my discovery and frustration of the destruction that had occurred. Wow. I forgot that I had taken this picture.
I will confess that a story told by Dottie McDowell is what immediately came to my mind. I had listened to this story a couple of weeks prior. Dottie shared that when she was a little girl one of her favorite stories was Peter Pan. She loved the fact that Tinkerbell could just sprinkle a little pixie dust and things could fly. One day she went down to the basement and had a great idea. The laundry detergent would make great pixie dust. She proceeded to grab it by the handful and throw it up in the air like pixie dust until the entire box was empty. When her Mom came down to check on her and saw the mess; she laughed. She proceeded to ask Dottie what she was doing, then asked her to re-enact it for her. Later, they happily cleaned it up together. During the story, Dottie mentions that most moms would have erupted with some or all of the following (in elevated voices I might add): What were you thinking? Look at this huge mess I have to clean up. I don't have time for this. Do you know how much it is going to cost me to replace that detergent? I remember thinking while listening to the story that I was not Dottie's kind of mom. The what most moms would say fit me perfectly, but I sure thought I would like to be more like Dottie's Mom. I would love to see the fun from my child's perspective. I would love to remain joyful. I would love to not be frustrated because of all of the extra work I did not have time for now existed. I actually prayed that evening for help in becoming more of the Mommy that I desired to be. I remember sharing and discussing this story with the older kids while cooking dinner the night after I heard it. I even shared it with with a close friend a few days later. I am extremely grateful and blessed that I had taken the time to listen to Josh & Dottie McDowell's cds. I fully believe that was a part of Christ armoring and preparing me with a true story that pierced my heart.
I realize now that this Mt. Haas eruption was an answer to my prayer and yet another Mommy Growth Test, and I passed. I did not make an A or maybe not even a B, but I definitely passed. I definitely did not laugh. I definitely did not ask for a reenactment at that moment. After all, Dottie's was a cleaning agent in a basement, and this was ash in our living room. My voice did elevate, but I did not scream and yell and rant and rave. My initial punishment that I spoke was that all children would remain in their bedrooms for the remainder of the weekend. I soon realized (with the help of my Mom) that was a little harsh, but it was the fresh, real, non-threatening reaction that I spouted off in my frustration. I shared with Kevin about the big ash mess, and he thought it was absolutely hilarious. If he had been here, he would not have been laughing. However, it was nice to hear him laughing about it away from the situation. I kindly reminded him that the next time something like this happens, because it will happen again, that I expect the same laughing reaction. Not much cleaning was accomplished that evening; however, the next day my Mom was able to help a little. Kevin also came home and joyfully jumped right in and became my knight in shining armor. He enlisted the kids help, and I think they actually had a fun time cleaning up the ash. I have pictures of this too.
I am so glad I took these. They really did enjoy going through 2 bottles of clorox wipes. Notice the bag on the fireplace...it has a lot of ash in it which did not include a couple more emptyings of the dyson...or the shop vac below. I am so glad Kevin brought in the shop vac, but I must say the dyson is awesome. We had to fully disassemble it and thoroughly wash it and all the filters out, but it is a great vacuum.
Later in the evening on the day of the eruption, Colton, humbly came to me and said he was so sorry. We had a great talk, and I was so very thankful that I had remained somewhat calm during the severity of my frustration. I am so grateful that I was merciful and tenderhearted to that sweet boy, and that I did not crush his spirit or creativeness by becoming a harsh, venom-spewing Mom that would have only created a different Mt. Haas eruption of sorts. The damaging and regretful kind. He told me that he would never, ever play with ash in any house ever again. When I asked him what exactly he was doing with the ash, his face lit up and he excitedly explained. He was driving his trains through the ash and the steam and smoke was blowing up in the air out of the trains. After he showed me the motions, I imagine it was a very similar to the flinging of the pixie dust. I was also able to remind him that I loved him so much even though there was a huge mess in our living room. I did tell him that I would remind him of this story often so that when he is a father someday, and Mt. Haas erupts in another generation that hopefully he will exhibit the role of a gracious and merciful father just as our Heavenly Father is to us. Although we do not deserve it, grace and mercy is extended each and every day. We will probably find remnants of the ash for the next year, and I am sure that it will serve as a great reminder of grace and mercy.
By the way, because of the break I did not post our memory verse for the 15th. Here it is:
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2
Yet again, our memory verse has been put to use. Put on the full armor of God (Eph. 6:11): I think we are doing that in many ways. Thank you Lord for this powerful provision!
Only By God's Grace...can I survive the big ash mess of Mt. Haas eruptions and be a loving Mommy.
Callie Ann
o callie! i love your blog. this even though trying was a great learning experience even for me. thank you for sharing. xoxo
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