A Big Ash Mess from Mt. Haas

It has been another break in blog posting, but this time it was not because of lack of internet!!  We visited family over Spring Break, and then it has taken me a little over a week to catch up.  The bad news is I am not caught up, and the truth is that I probably never will be.  I then imposed a ban until my taxes were finished.  So here I am.

We had a big ash mess on Friday.  I thought I would blog this on Saturday, but my coals were not through smouldering.  I am completely cool now.  Let me create the scene.

Mommy has left her children in the living room watching Toy Story 3.  I have done this on many an occasion while I try to get something done just one wall over with the door open.  I do not like to make it a habit, but sometimes business must be taken care of.  I realize it is not my TWO 9 year olds responsibilities to fully take care of the siblings; however, I would hope they are old enough to report to me an emergency situation.  (I must insert here that most of the time they are wonderful at short-term supervision, and they have never had a lapse in judgement such as this.  I might not have written this whilst I was still smouldering, but time has allowed me to put things into perspective.)  I would have thought that the eruption of Mt. Haas, err..should I say Mt. Colton Haas, would justify as an emergency.  On this day, it did not.

Make special note here that said Mommy had only had a couple of hours of sleep the night before.  She had also only had very limited hours of sleep that week for various reasons.  I was also on a deadline.  I had met other deadlines throughout the week, but this one was pushing it.  This would tell you that said Mommy was low on sleep, low on nutrition, low on patience...well, I am sure this is not unlike anyone else in the world at many times in their lives.  So I am sure the feeling is well understood.

I go in to check on the kids several times, and at quick glance all appears well.  (There were no lights on in the room and shades mostly down to watch the movie.)  Finally, I go in because I am supposed to get Kevlie Ann to a birthday party, and we still needed to get a gift.  When the lights came on, I saw the complete destruction that had been hidden in the darkness.  My creative and train-loving son, Colton, had decided that the fireplace ashes made for great steam and smoke!  The ground was covered in at least a 1/4 inch of ash.  Kylee's jumperoo and toys were covered.  The windowsill was covered.  The ash even made it on to the mantle and entertainment center and on my drapes.  There was ash on the furniture and even up and down the long entryway hall and table.  I can be guilty of some embellishment at times, but I am not exaggerating at all.  In my boggled state, I did stop to take pictures.  I have proof.  (You will notice that I had already started cleaning before the pics were taken.)

I am happy to report that not a single spanking was given.  This power to refrain from corporal punishment only came from Christ.  I was furious and absolutely beside myself at why nobody bothered to report this situation.  I kept reminding myself that someday I would laugh at this situation, but that did not help. 

The pic above is proof that I remained calm because he fell asleep during my discovery and frustration of the destruction that had occurred.  Wow.  I forgot that I had taken this picture.

I will confess that a story told by Dottie McDowell is what immediately came to my mind.  I had listened to this story a couple of weeks prior.  Dottie shared that when she was a little girl one of her favorite stories was Peter Pan.  She loved the fact that Tinkerbell could just sprinkle a little pixie dust and things could fly.  One day she went down to the basement and had a great idea.  The laundry detergent would make great pixie dust.  She proceeded to grab it by the handful and throw it up in the air like pixie dust until the entire box was empty.  When her Mom came down to check on her and saw the mess; she laughed.  She proceeded to ask Dottie what she was doing, then asked her to re-enact it for her.  Later, they happily cleaned it up together.  During the story, Dottie mentions that most moms would have erupted with some or all of the following (in elevated voices I might add):  What were you thinking?  Look at this huge mess I have to clean up.  I don't have time for this.  Do you know how much it is going to cost me to replace that detergent?  I remember thinking while listening to the story that I was not Dottie's kind of mom.  The what most moms would say fit me perfectly, but I sure thought I would like to be more like Dottie's Mom.  I would love to see the fun from my child's perspective.  I would love to remain joyful.  I would love to not be frustrated because of all of the extra work I did not have time for now existed.  I actually prayed that evening for help in becoming more of the Mommy that I desired to be.  I remember sharing and discussing this story with the older kids while cooking dinner the night after I heard it.  I even shared it with with a close friend a few days later.  I am extremely grateful and blessed that I had taken the time to listen to Josh & Dottie McDowell's cds.  I fully believe that was a part of Christ armoring and preparing me with a true story that pierced my heart.

I realize now that this Mt. Haas eruption was an answer to my prayer and yet another Mommy Growth Test, and I passed.  I did not make an A or maybe not even a B, but I definitely passed.  I definitely did not laugh.  I definitely did not ask for a reenactment at that moment.  After all, Dottie's was a cleaning agent in a basement, and this was ash in our living room.  My voice did elevate, but I did not scream and yell and rant and rave.  My initial punishment that I spoke was that all children would remain in their bedrooms for the remainder of the weekend.  I soon realized (with the help of my Mom) that was a little harsh, but it was the fresh, real, non-threatening reaction that I spouted off in my frustration.  I shared with Kevin about the big ash mess, and he thought it was absolutely hilarious.  If he had been here, he would not have been laughing.  However, it was nice to hear him laughing about it away from the situation.  I kindly reminded him that the next time something like this happens, because it will happen again, that I expect the same laughing reaction.  Not much cleaning was accomplished that evening; however, the next day my Mom was able to help a little.  Kevin also came home and joyfully jumped right in and became my knight in shining armor.  He enlisted the kids help, and I think they actually had a fun time cleaning up the ash.  I have pictures of this too.

I am so glad I took these.  They really did enjoy going through 2 bottles of clorox wipes.  Notice the bag on the fireplace...it has a lot of ash in it which did not include a couple more emptyings of the dyson...or the shop vac below.  I am so glad Kevin brought in the shop vac, but I must say the dyson is awesome.  We had to fully disassemble it and thoroughly wash it and all the filters out, but it is a great vacuum.

Later in the evening on the day of the eruption, Colton, humbly came to me and said he was so sorry.  We had a great talk, and I was so very thankful that I had remained somewhat calm during the severity of my frustration.  I am so grateful that I was merciful and tenderhearted to that sweet boy, and that I did not crush his spirit or creativeness by becoming a harsh, venom-spewing Mom that would have only created a different Mt. Haas eruption of sorts.  The damaging and regretful kind.  He told me that he would never, ever play with ash in any house ever again.  When I asked him what exactly he was doing with the ash, his face lit up and he excitedly explained.  He was driving his trains through the ash and the steam and smoke was blowing up in the air out of the trains.  After he showed me the motions, I imagine it was a very similar to the flinging of the pixie dust.  I was also able to remind him that I loved him so much even though there was a huge mess in our living room.  I did tell him that I would remind him of this story often so that when he is a father someday, and Mt. Haas erupts in another generation that hopefully he will exhibit the role of a gracious and merciful father just as our Heavenly Father is to us.  Although we do not deserve it, grace and mercy is extended each and every day.  We will probably find remnants of the ash for the next year, and I am sure that it will serve as a great reminder of grace and mercy.

By the way, because of the break I did not post our memory verse for the 15th.  Here it is:

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Ephesians 4:2

Yet again, our memory verse has been put to use.  Put on the full armor of God (Eph. 6:11): I think we are doing that in many ways.  Thank you Lord for this powerful provision!

Only By God's Grace...can I survive the big ash mess of Mt. Haas eruptions and be a loving Mommy.
Callie Ann

A Mento Moment

Where do I begin after a 3 week blog vacation?  I'm not sure.  I kind of feel like I am so behind because I have had so many blogs running through my head that I have not posted.  It is really humbling to have to admit the reason I have not blogged.  I suppose I could go on and pretend that it is all because I just have not had the time to blog or we were too busy, etc.  However, that would fall into the category of lying, which I absolutely abhor.  Furthermore, it would fall into becoming translucent on the verge of opaque, and my goal here is transparency. 

Being self-employed and starting your own company requires a daily stepping out on faith.  Especially with these economic times and during the growing pain beginnings of a new company.  Tough times call for tough decisions.  One of the decisions we made this past month was that there were other bills that were more important for the life of our family than our home internet.  Let's see, like food on the table, gas in the car, diapers for the baby, medicine, electricity...well, I'm sure the picture has been painted.  It even makes it rougher when your chief laborer (aka co-owner) goes down extremely ill for a week.  There is no paid sick time when you are building your own company.   We have learned a lot over the past year and half through the good times and rough times.  As well as the times when you question the Lord and ask if this is really what He wants us to be doing.  I am happy to report that He has repeatedly confirmed that we are following His Will for this time in our lives.  We have also learned that during the good times to never get comfortable and complacent.  We must always be as prepared for what is ahead and that means becoming better stewards of the gifts that we are given. 

Previously, I shared one of the lessons learned during this transition that required major change.  Cooking and eating at home.  I will report that this continues to be a blessing and pure joy to our family.  Everyone does not always love the menu choices, but I am starting to create a growing list of favorites.  There have been other lessons that I am pretty certain will become future blog posts.  It seems that writing this blog is becoming another lesson...a lesson of humility and shedding the false cloak of pride.  This can be painful, but it also so refreshing to be real.  In my study of His Word last week, I blindly came across Hebrews 12 discussing how "the Lord disciplines those he loves" (vs. 6).  I believe that we are being disciplined.

Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:10-11

I am going to find the joy (my current theme word) and good in the midst of the discipline, for it is going to produce a harvest of righteousness and peace.  We are in the process of refinement.  We all have heard and know this story of the refining process for precious metals, but they always are so much more beautiful and brilliant in the end.  I have also learned to be content with what I have.  As I read further into the next chapter of Hebrews, the Lord kindly reminded me of that.  It seems that when times are tough, my flesh wants to covet what others have.  It is not that I really want what others have; it is just that I do not want to have to worry about bills.  I must say, though, that when this worry is present or worry about when our next project is going to roll in is when I have to completely rely on my Sustainer.

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have because God said, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." 

Hebrews 13:5

I am content with what we have.  We are so much better off than so many others and not only in material or monetary ways.  We have known several families in the past few weeks and months that are having to deal with life decisions.  This has really put our current situation into perspective.  I know that several of them would gladly trade places to not have to be facing the tough trials they are dealing with.  What I am going through may be stressful at times, but it is nothing compared to what others are enduring this very moment.  This changes my heart and prayers from a desperate plea and feeling of neediness to a grateful heart full of an over-abundance of blessings that we do not even deserve.  Even with this change of heart, my God is still so good to remind me that after I have suffered a little while, [He] will himself restore me and make me strong, firm and steadfast (1 Peter 5:10).  Now that is pure joy.

Now to lighten it up a bit...

I was unable to post our verse that we began on March 1st for our family scripture memory.  The Lord has now given me quite a list to choose from; however, the decision is never made until that day.  Well, March 1st was a doozy.  It was not a horrible day, but the ending just was not very nice.  This led us to the following verse.  It is a longer one that, to be honest, I can only quote in pieces; however, it is a good one for all of the sibling and daddy/son rivalry we have going on at times.  We still have a week to get it down pat.  (I think we will be writing it several times or making up a song...maybe I will have the kids make up a rap for it.  They would have a lot of fun with that.)

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32

I also was going to share our Mento Moment tonight.  Mimi and the kids have been corresponding with one another through the snail mail.  Something about receiving mail as a child just exudes happiness and squealing.  Too bad it does not get to stay this way as an adult; this is just another one of those fringe benefits of being an innocent child.  Mimi has provided the kids with some stamps, and they have just as much fun writing back and getting to walk down to the mailbox to send it off.  They also really enjoy the simple things in life.  In one small package she sent them each a bag of skittles.  They LOVED this!  Tonight, however, all she had with her while she was at the post office was the remnants of her Mento package.  There were 3 left.  She selflessly sent them to Calvin, Kevlie Ann, and Colton.  They were thrilled!  They did not even care that they each only were to receive one mento.  It was perfect timing because we happened to open the mail just before bedtime so to them it was a sweet treat surprise to be consumed before bedtime.  It was so sweet to watch because Calvin passed them out, and they were just kind of staring at them and smiling.  They decided to all eat them together on the count of 3.  One, two, three...they all popped them in their mouths.  A serene, quiet, and content Mento moment commensed.  I was the recipient of 3 minty-fresh goodnight kisses!

Only By God's Grace

Joyfully,

Callie Ann

P.S.  Just in case you were wondering...
My facebook posts have been being made from my phone, which is not an efficient blogging apparatus at the moment.

If you can dream it, then it's too small for God.

My husband is a dreamer that is only grounded when others give critical feedback and, subsequently, crush the dream.  I am a dreamer that is grounded when I begin to doubt the possibilities.  I wish I would not become grounded so easily by my own demise.  I wish my husband would not allow himself to be so affected by others.  The saddest part of this and hardest to admit is I have often been the dream crusher.   I am also an eternal optimist; therefore, I have learned that as long as I allow that attitude to prevail I can relinquish doubt and allow our dreams to take flight.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.  --Ephesians 3:20-21

Brian Crump, a minister at our church, stated, "If you can dream it, then it's too small for God."  This statement was in reference to the scripture noted above.  Our Lord is able to do abundantly exceedingly more than we can even know to ask or dream up.  And to think that I could ever even doubt the possibilities when I serve a Lord that can go above and beyond what I even think is impossible or highly unlikely.  If I am doubting what can be accomplished when I dream it and make requests to my Father, then I am not putting complete trust and faith in His abilities.  Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37 and referenced in many other scriptures).

Kevin and I stepped out on faith a year and a half ago to start our own company and fulfill a dream.  We desire for it to become more of a mission and servant-oriented business that helps people in need.  Kevin's heart is to give generously of his time and talents, but our inherent need of survival makes this seem difficult to achieve.   We have our ideas and dreams of where this company can go, but we want to follow God's plan because His plan is bigger and better than our own.  We must continue to persevere and trust in the Lord, in His provision, His perfect timing, and remember that His dreams for our lives are bigger and better than we can even comprehend.  The term "dream big" is an understatement when we give it to the Father for nothing is impossible with Him.

Only By God's Grace

With much Love,

Callie Ann