Thankful Thursday

I have a blogger friend from college that use to always have a Thankful Thursday post.  She did it again not long ago, and it reminded me of how much I loved the thought of reflecting back on the blessings of the past 7 days.  I love how she terms it her "manna" for the week. 

Here are some things I am thankful for this week:

- Kevin, or Tekton Renovations I should say, was able to help bless some friends.  He helped renovate a garage into a man cave.  (By the way, Lisa hates that term.)  It was a surprise for Toby, and it was fun to see him enjoy his surprise and new hang out.  I think they have been out there almost every night for a week now.  It is complete with a frig, tv, and ping pong table.  I think Lisa could beat Toby, but he just knows how to get into her head.  This reminds me of a Cosby Show episode we watched at dinner tonight on Netflix.  (I love Netflix!)  It was in the first season and Cliff always loses in chess to his father-in-law because he knows how to get into his head.

- Our adopted college student, Meredith, (I will give our story in another post) who is now married and moved away came to visit us.  She came and watched Kevlie Ann's soccer game and hung out with us all day Saturday.  Her husband was unable to make this trip; therefore, I went to a wedding with her Saturday night.  We had a great girls night out!  She spent the night and went to church with us on Sunday morning.  We are so blessed when she comes to visit us, and I love how much she loves our family.  We love her too!

- I love watching my kids play sports!  We watched KK play soccer on Saturday in high winds with blowing sand, and Calvin had a great baseball game on Monday night.

- I had a Mommy first this week!!  I have realized now that this is a Baby Mommy First because I know there are so many other firsts that we will experience!

- I was able to go on a Girls Night on Sunday night.  This ended up being 2 nights in a row, but I had not been to dinner and movie with these girls since Kylee was born.  I am so grateful that I have a husband who loves me and knows I need my girls nights.  On Sunday night he gathered them all from church, fed them dinner, and got them all peacefully to bed.  Two nights in a row that is.  I think they watched the Cosby Show that night as well because they all had stories to tell me the next day.  They just do not make family tv like the old days.

- Kevlie Ann was home sick on Tuesday and Wednesday, but I enjoyed her being here.  On Wednesday afternoon she was feeling better, and she worked on putting dreads in my hair.  It takes a long time to do all of those tiny braids.  She only completed the front part of my head.  I still had lots of hair left undone.  I even went grocery shopping in my dreads!  I was not sure I was going to be able to get them all out, but they actually came out a lot faster than it took her to put them in.  It resulted in a major frizzy, wavy mess.

- I am grateful that I have a new dryer.  I must say that after settling in with it for several days now that my buyer's remorse is quickly fading.  It dries so much faster than ol' dryer did, and that must be saving a lot of energy thus lowering the utility bill.  It has already successfully done many loads, but I am not completely caught up yet.  I also love the extra space it has created in the laundry room.  I am still trying to organize and get things all put back in to place.  I know it seems like this should be done, but it is really hard with a mobile, wanting to play all the time, 9 month old.

- I am thankful that this Thursday was peaceful.  I thought my youngest ones were getting sick.  Colton definitely is not, but Kylee had quite the snotty nose and was a little more cranky than usual.  I do not think this is teething since the girl already has 6 teeth!  She may have a complete mouthful by her 1 year old birthday!  While Kylee napped this afternoon we were able to play ball outside with the other kiddos.  I am trying to soak in this weather because I know it will be miserable soon, and I will not want to be outside.

- I love this weather!

- I am thankful for how God's Word is being weaved into our hearts and becoming practical in our daily lives!

I think this "manna" is really supposed to be in the form of "Today I am thankful for:" followed by brief statements of gratitude.  With my first attempt at this, I realize that mine really became more of a synopsis of my week.  I thought I was attempting to be brief, but I failed.   I understand there is no right and wrong, but I will try to do better next week.  Nevertheless, it was fun thinking about my week in synopsis.  It was a good week! 

What are you thankful for this week?

I love being reminded of all of the blessings we have and focusing on the good every week.  Thank you Erica for your inspiration!  You are a blessing and treasure to so many.

Only By God's Grace...
Callie Ann

A Mommy First

I have 4 children.  I thought I would have already experienced pretty much all of the Mommy firsts that are out there, but I was wrong.  I had a Mommy first last Saturday.

After Kevlie Ann's whirlwind, literally, of a soccer game, we were all hungry.  It was 2:30pm.  We had a late breakfast, but we had not had lunch before the game.  I had 3 free kids meal coupons for Jason's Deli so off we went.  Lunch was great.  Kylee enjoyed lots of crackers.  Funny thing is that in our rush to get out of the house that morning, I made the comment to Kevin as we were driving down our street that somehow I had left the wipes in the living room recliner.  I am not sure why they were not put back in the diaper bag, but they were not.  I made the decision that we should be fine and to go on to the game.  I was really wishing for the wipes after all of the crackers.

I wanted to run into World Market really quickly to look for something specific.  I found a couple of things and checked out.  As we were walking out the door, I felt something wet dripping off of my arm.  To my shock and amazement, there was a copious amount of poo (the really runny kind) running down my arm and even all over the bag of purchased items.  This is not my Mommy first moment because we have had many a blow-out.  Just wait for it because it gets better.

Now I was really wishing for the wipes.  I almost wanted to walk around the store in search of another Mommy who might be in possession of some, but I could not because this was what you might call an emergency.  I held sweet Kylee out in the air, legs dangling and made a bee-line for the restroom.  Kylee was all smiles.  I think she thought this was quite a ride.  I will spare too many details, but let me just say that it was so bad that this is when my Mommy first occurred.

For the first time ever in my 9 years and 3 months of Mommyhood with 4 infants, I gave my daughter a bath in the restroom sink.  I know for a fact that had this been my first baby I would have melted into a puddle of tears filled with embarassment, exasperation, and failure.  On this day, even though it was a first, it is not my first rodeo.  I was able to laugh the whole time and kind of enjoy the moment even though it was filled with poo and lots of it.

I tend to have reflection moments as I type these blogs.  I do not know if anyone else cares about these reflections or lessons learned, but I know it is good for me.  This one is kind of corny and many may roll their eyes, but it works for me.  Sometimes our lives are filled with a lot of poo.  I know mine has been off and on lately.  However, I have a choice.  I can melt down into tears filled with embarassment, exasperation, and failure.  Or I can choose to laugh.  Laughter really is the best medicine.  I am always telling the family, "You might as well laugh as cry."  It is a lot more fun and less stressful that way.

Boys will be Boys

The Lord is teaching me so vividly these days that boys will be boys.  I am learning to appreciate them so much, and boy do I love my boys.  I have discovered a great appreciation for their laughter, creativity, loyalty, passion, messiness, how they forgive and forget, the importance of physical touch (the rough kind as well as the gentle, but all loving), and their amazing energy.  I have always claimed to be the "clean mom" because I did not like to deal with messes.  I now find that I am much more relaxed in this area, and if they are dirty then I know they are having fun and being just as God designed them to be.

Basketball is quite popular in our house right now.  Have I mentioned that our Women's Aggie Basketball team are the 2011 NCAA National Champions?!?  I know I have not on the blog, and I will not try to annoy with it, but we are quite excited and pumped for those ladies.  Did you know they held Bible Studies during the tournament, and that Danielle Adams even made this clear to the media.  I know, I know we always hear thanks to God, and that is great.  I do not downplay that at all, after all, God should always get the glory.  However, how often do they go to the extent to mention that even Bible Studies were held?  Amazing.  I love that Coach Blair and these ladies are such great ambassadors to the sport, to our great school, and most of all great role models for our children.  I know I went on a tangent...

Basketball is quite popular in our house right now, and it does have a lot to do with how we follow both the men's and women's Aggie programs.  (We do not follow the NBA, except during the playoffs.)  Calvin loves to play for hours outside on the big goal, and Colton tries really hard.  He loves to be lifted up so that he can dunk it.  Colton did get a small basketball goal from GaGa and PawPaw for his birthday present.  Right now it is inside the house where there is pandemonium going on.  I just know something is going to get broken, but I am not in the least worried about it.  If you are ever at my house for an extended period of time, you will soon find out that there is always balls being thrown or shot inside.  We have the middle of our living room floor open on purpose so that football routes can be more easily run.  When Calvin was three we did have to stop the ball tosses and swinging of the bat.  He was just too good, and it was getting dangerous even with the "soft" balls.

Before the basketball goal was assembled, there were makeshift goals being created out of anything that resembled a hole.  They following is a list of what I can remember has been used as basketball goals:  laundry baskets, the seat of Kylee's jumperoo, the boppy pillow set in the recliner seat, Colton's stool that goes in his room and the lid comes off, a cardboard box, the highchair, the cute tin tub that holds the dog's toys, and various toy bins.  I know there are more that I am missing, but I think the point has been made.  The sheer creativity, love of sports, and energy that lives in my house is inspiring.  I try to hang, but I need to inhale some of their energy.  If I could bottle it, I would be a millionaire. 

I have partially figured out what needs to be put in the bottle, but I am not sure how to get it there.  I would put in children's pure innocence.  The joys and lack of stress that they live in allow for energy to multiply.  It makes me so sad and sick to think of all of the rough situations some children have at home that they are simply forced to grow up too soon in order to survive, and the joy and stress-free life of innocence is robbed from them.  

Some things would not need to be bottled.  These are things that I am able to change, but choose not to or do not do well enough.  These would be things like drinking lots of water, not drinking sodas, eating more nutritiously, cutting out majority of sugar, exercise more and get the proper amount of rest.  I do well at some of these and poorly in others, but I really think they all work together.  Therefore, if I am missing any piece of the puzzle, then I am missing out on the whole.  I know this whole paragraph was like blah, blah, blah.  The boring things we always hear, know, and disregard.

I am so thankful that the Lord blessed me with boys!  I am also so grateful that I enjoy them for the way God created them to be.  It sure would be boring around our house if I did not allow them to be boys.

Something else to note:  When Kevin gets involved with the boys, he is one of the boys.  The competition revs up.  The energy increases.  And it always gets physical.  As I was typing that I thought of the Olivia Newton John song, which is a totally different kind of physical.  The Mommy and Daddy kind where wrestling ensues.

Only By God's Grace...
Callie Ann

A Portrait Studio Adventure

I am not a fan of going to the portrait studio.  I prefer for us to take our own because Kevin has the talent with my creativity to do it.  However, every now and then I make the trip to the studio.  It is not really that I hate the results because the kids took some great portraits today, but it is the process that I am not fond of.  We managed to get some really beautiful pictures today at Sears of all places.  I get a little flustered because I feel rushed during the whole process, yet it takes for-ev-er.  We go in all happy and excited to take beautiful pictures and usually come out tired and hungry. 

We had to go to Sears because of a decision I made nine years ago.  I had the twins pictures taken in the tin tub with the cloud background and yellow duckies.  I really love those pictures and they grace the kids bathroom wall.  I repeated the procedure with Colton so it would not look right to not have sweet Kylee's face up there as well.  So we packed up and went to Sears for the infamous "tub" picture.

I will now have all four tub pictures on the bathroom wall.  It will be complete.  I also decided to go ahead and take Kylee's picture in her beautiful dedication gown.  I am so glad I did.  There are so many of these that I love, but here are a few.

I am really glad I had these taken because we are finally having her dedication this Sunday, and now I have a beautiful picture to submit for it.  The old saying is true that the more children you have the less pictures you have of them.  Well, I have a lot of snapshots, but I hardly have any great portraits of Kylee or Colton.  I think the twins had theirs taken every 2 or 3 months their first year of life.  Here a few more of my favorites from today.

I will say that I love the fact that I came home with a cd of 78 pictures!!  The moral of the story is now that I am not feeling the frazzlement of going to the studio, I am so happy to have these pictures.  The photo session itself was tiring and I was sweating by the end of it, but Colton and Kylee were both happy.  The worst part is trying to make all of the decisions at the computer after the session with the pressure of needing to make the right decisions all while your older son is running up and down the hall with the football prop you had brought and a baby wanting to sleep.  Colton decided that it would be a great idea to try and make baskets with the quilt rack they had displaying products.  I let him know that was not a very good idea, and he obeyed.  However, then he had to find other things to keep him entertained.  I mean what fun is it for an active boy to have to sit patiently and wait while Mommy makes portrait decisions.  Kylee did not cry, she just sucked on her fingers and every now and then would politely vocalize her desire to leave.  I have developed a list of places for anyone needing natural birth control, and this is on it.  My children were not horrible, but I did not even mention the other crying  and bored children that we witnessed.  I decided to order the minimum and get the cd so that I could make better decisions at home.

All of this for cherished memories.  Memories of ages of my precious children that I can never get back.  I am sad when I think of how fast they are growing, yet I love every new development and accomplishment they make.  Another day gone, but there are so many more memories to make tomorrow!

I was not going to blog about it, but I simply cannot sign off without voicing my pride in my Lady Aggies Basketball team!  They are headed to the Final Four for the first time in program history!  Whoop!

Only By God's Grace...
Callie Ann

Testing, Testing, 1,2,3

After reflecting back on my post from yesterday, I am feeling the need to clarify a few things.  I guess that stems mainly from my joyful comments.  I am not anywhere near perfect.  I do not have my act together most of the time.  I am human and have down times and moments of weakness like any other human being.   I am not joyful 100% of the time, but my percentages are improving.  It has taken me a long time to be content with where I am and with what God is doing in our lives, but I am now truly content.  That contentment is what leads to joy.  If I had not gone through that painful process, I would not be able to honestly tell you that I am joyful.  I am not sure Kevin has reached the joyful stage yet.  Correction:  He is joyful a lot of the time, but maybe he is still working on his shooting percentage.  I believe this is because he is the provider for the family and carries a heavy burden.  However, I must admit he is a lot closer to this pure joy than he was several years ago.  Nevertheless, being joyful really has nothing to do with whether or not I have it all together.  I am choosing to live this way instead of in misery or just pretending to be happy.  I can choose to be happy with the circumstances I am given.  Happiness is a choice.  Sometimes it is a hard one to make, and other times it is quite easy.  My family deserves and needs a more joyful Mommy.   This goes the other way too.  I am able to enjoy my family more if I am joyful.

Speaking of choosing happiness and being joyful.  I was tested this morning.   Kevin usually takes the kids to school, and I am so thankful for this act of service that he lovingly does for me.  I have had to do this task most mornings the past two weeks.  The worst part is that I have to load up all four children to make the "quick" trip.  Most of the time this means waking the sleeping baby.  Is there not a rule or law that says to never wake a sleeping baby?  Well, I have been quite successful with this task until this morning.

I will say that the testing actually happened before we ever left the house.  Calvin asked ever so politely if we could leave a little early and stop by the Shell for a breakfast treat.  He explained that his sweet sister, Kevlie Ann, wanted to buy breakfast for us.  This was an interesting test because 99% of the time my response would be no.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a stickler for healthy choices for my children.  I am not so great at this myself as it is so hard to change old habits, but I want better for them.  I rarely let them drink sodas, unless it is a party.  I do not allow much sugar, and I try to stay away from candy unless it is a holiday or grandparent treat.  So, naturally, why would I agree to stop today and allow them to purchase donuts and cinnamon rolls?  I do not know except that I decided to be the "nice mom" today.  I hesitated before saying yes, but then quickly realized that it had been a long time since I had said yes to such request.  (Now Daddy is a push-over in this department.  As long as he will reap some benefit from this breakfast splurge, then he will go for it much more often than me.  I would say he is closer to a 75%er.  I know that does not seem like a great drop from the 99% no to 75% no, but the kids have learned how to work it.) 
Test 1: passed.

The only problem I saw with this plan and the "yes" committment I had made was that we would need to leave a little early.  What is "a little" early?  Actually, what is early?  Since children entered my life, early rarely happens.  I hate it.  I know hate is a strong word, but I really do hate being late.  I hate being on time.  I would rather be early and not rushed.  I have tried everything.  I have tried getting up extra early, but then there is too much extra time and I am not sure where it all goes.  I have tried setting the clocks 5 minutes ahead.  They are now set 10 minutes ahead.  This does not work because I can do the math, and I know how many times I can press snooze.  Basically, I can get myself ready, but I am not good at the allowing for catastrophes like poo, meltdowns, lost keys, or just plain stuff.  There are times when I have it all together, and we are early.  I am quite proud of this accomplishment when it happens, and I celebrate it.  I often reflect on it and think, "wow, that was not hard at all."  However, even though it was not hard, I cannot for the life of me figure out how I did it so that it could be successfully replicated on a daily basis.  But today...we left a little early.
Test 2:  passed.

Now a little early meant that I wore my jammies (that did not match) underneath a sweatshirt jacket.  I threw on my glasses because there would be no time for contacts.  I slipped on flip flops.  I did take an extra 15 seconds or so to reassemble my ponytail so that I did not look totally like the just hopped out of bed Momma.  (I know this really does not fool anyone, but it makes me feel better.)  The twins were ready and excited.  They had pep talked Colton so he was excited about donuts.   (Colton is a night owl like me.  He really prefers to sleep in and wake up on his own in the mornings.)  I grabbed Kylee and put her in the carseat.  No milk and not even a diaper change.  (I can read all of this and see a successful plan for being early; however, I just do not think this would work on a consistent basis.  Or at a minimum we probably would not have very many places to go because we would not have very many friends in this hippy-hobo state we looked this morning.)  Regardless, we were on our way along with the rest of the world and morning traffic.  We live about a mile and a half away from the Shell.  About a mile down the road, the van shuts down.  According to my gas guage, I should have had at least 20 more miles.  I had planned to get gas on my way back home and not at the Shell.  I really thought at this moment that it was not a gas problem.  I remained calm and collected and even, yes, you know it, JOYFUL.  I was laughing at the situation.  I was praising the Lord that I had actually left a little early.  I was praising the Lord that I had said yes to the donuts.  I was desperately praying that we could coast and make it to the gas station.  As we were coasting, I could tell the people behind me were not at all impressed with my slow, cautious driving.  Maybe they were not as early as we were.  We coasted our way to the entrance of the station, and I had to really press on the breaks to be able to make the turn.  This is so hard without power steering!  Unfortunately, this slowed the van enough that it did not make it to the pump.  I then proceeded to jump out of the van in my hippy-hobo attire and push the van.  I pushed and pushed while I am sure others were being quite entertained.  I mean traveling circuses are very entertaining!  I stopped and decided that I was probably close enough for the pump to reach.  It was at this point when I had placed it in park that a very kind man told me he would push it the rest of the way for me.  He was at the pump next to me.  I am not sure what was going through his mind while I was pushing; nevertheless, I was thankful, embarassed, but appreciative for his good deed for the day!  The kids were still able to get donuts.  I decided after all of that I needed and deserved a Dr. Pepper.  And because we had left a little early, the kids still had 5 minutes to spare when we pulled into the school driveway.
Test 3: passed.

I would say that I passed with flying colors.  It does not always happen this way.  There are many times that I would have totally lost it once the coasting began.  Moreover, it would have been even more stressful if I had not answered a simple yes to a simple question from a loving son.  Praise the Lord that this time I did not lose it, and it was a great lesson for the kids.  They were able to walk into school joyful, instead of stressed and in foul moods because of the way Mommy reacted.  This reminds me of a song This Is The Stuff by Francesca Battistelli that speaks directly to my stage in life right now.  I think all of the "stuff" in the song has happened to me.  I know that I could have written at least 4 more verses for her.  I mean it does not even include the running out of gas example of the stuff He uses.

Enjoy singing along!
Only By God's Grace...
I am joyful and blessed beyond measure even through the stuff.
Much Love,
Callie Ann

Getting fit really does not include homemade brownies.

I made stew tonight from the leftover pot roast from last night.  So while the stew was stewing, a sweet-tooth was brewing, as well as some tea.  The only thing sweet I had to make were some key lime bars which have to set up in the frig for 8 hours.  That would just not work.  So what is a girl to do?  I figured out that I had all of the ingredients to make brownies from scratch!  And so I quickly whipped it up which took about the same amount of time as a box recipe.  I must add that the stew was delish as well as the homemade brownies!

This is also a day I received my bridesmaid dress in the mail for a wedding the end of May.  It is hard to place orders for these types of things after you have had a baby when your size 7 months later can be so different.  However, I cannot have sweet-tooths creeping up on me if I expect to be any smaller.  The dress works now, but I would like to be even more comfortable.  I would like to be more fit.  I was well on my way to getting fit and shedding all of the previous remaining baby pounds when I was surprised by my pregnancy with Kylee.  That put it all to a grinding halt.  It is time to get back into gear! And dang those brownies.

I really love to work out!  I do not like to be hot, but I love to sweat!  Is that an oxymoron or what?  Let me clarify, I love work-out sweat.  I do not like the trying to look cute, but not because of sweat.  I am not ready for summer, but now I am digressing.  The problem is getting back into routine and not allowing me to talk myself out of it.  I have been establishing routines for the rest of my life so now it is time to add this in.  Kevin and I purchased Insanity back in August with great intentions.  We managed to put it off over and over again because...well I am not sure of all of the excuses.  I know part of it was lack of sleep, the newborn baby kind, which is a semi-legitimate excuse in my book.  I think a bigger part of it was fear of how bad of shape we both truly were in, and knowing that we were going to have to literally go through some growing pains...err, workout pains.  We actually did the first day - fit test - two weeks ago, and we were both gasping.  We have justified that we were not really in that bad of shape because both us were flu-like sick the rest of that week.  Surely we performed badly because of the illness our body was already trying to fight.  However, the truth is that we have not turned it on since.  Can you say fear...again?

The other part of this equation is that I have had a gym membership that I have paid for all of these months and not used.  The waste of money here just drives me crazy.  I love going to the gym, and I have friends that I go with.  So why have I not gone?  Well, here are even more excuses.  Childcare.  Yes, there is childcare and it is free, but I really do not like the ratio.  I also know that Kylee requires attention.  In addition, I am also leary of all of the sickness going around right now.  I must be such a responsible Mommy to keep my little ones from getting exposed, right?  Wow, this is downright comical and prejudice.  I take them to church and Bible Study where they can also get just as exposed to illness.

The moral of the story is that I must stop making excuses, pump myself up for no pain, no gain, and get up and get moving.  Not only will I get fit, but I will feel so much better in the process.  Exercise makes me happy, feel good, have less headaches, and gives me much more energy.  So here's to working out like a mad woman and drinking lots of water in the process.

Only By God's Grace
With Much Love,
Callie Ann

If you can dream it, then it's too small for God.

My husband is a dreamer that is only grounded when others give critical feedback and, subsequently, crush the dream.  I am a dreamer that is grounded when I begin to doubt the possibilities.  I wish I would not become grounded so easily by my own demise.  I wish my husband would not allow himself to be so affected by others.  The saddest part of this and hardest to admit is I have often been the dream crusher.   I am also an eternal optimist; therefore, I have learned that as long as I allow that attitude to prevail I can relinquish doubt and allow our dreams to take flight.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.  --Ephesians 3:20-21

Brian Crump, a minister at our church, stated, "If you can dream it, then it's too small for God."  This statement was in reference to the scripture noted above.  Our Lord is able to do abundantly exceedingly more than we can even know to ask or dream up.  And to think that I could ever even doubt the possibilities when I serve a Lord that can go above and beyond what I even think is impossible or highly unlikely.  If I am doubting what can be accomplished when I dream it and make requests to my Father, then I am not putting complete trust and faith in His abilities.  Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37 and referenced in many other scriptures).

Kevin and I stepped out on faith a year and a half ago to start our own company and fulfill a dream.  We desire for it to become more of a mission and servant-oriented business that helps people in need.  Kevin's heart is to give generously of his time and talents, but our inherent need of survival makes this seem difficult to achieve.   We have our ideas and dreams of where this company can go, but we want to follow God's plan because His plan is bigger and better than our own.  We must continue to persevere and trust in the Lord, in His provision, His perfect timing, and remember that His dreams for our lives are bigger and better than we can even comprehend.  The term "dream big" is an understatement when we give it to the Father for nothing is impossible with Him.

Only By God's Grace

With much Love,

Callie Ann

A bunch of hodgepodge.

My husband yanked his tooth out tonight.  No kidding. I laughed and he did too.  Although, I think he was laughing because he was finally pain free.  You see last week when we were both under the weather and feeling quite flu-ish, he bit into something hard at dinner.  It immediately brought immense pain.  So much so that I had to rush to the store in my "I've been sick all day and don't feel very pretty" clothes to pick up some Orajel.  I think that was the quickest I ever been in and out of a store.  A dab of the Orajel brought instant relief, albiet temporary relief.  Tooth pain is horrible.  It had been bothering him off and on all week and was not going to go away. Once the tooth was out we noticed this tooth was rotting away on the inside, but was still quite beautiful on the outside.  This reminded me what happens when bitterness takes root in your soul.  You slowly start to rot from the inside.  On the outside you may seem all put together and say all of the right things, but in reality you are slowly decaying.  I know because I have harbored bitterness.  The decay starts off slow, and you live in denial for a long time.   I have justified my bitterness claiming a victim status.  It is just not fair.  I have been deceived and flat out lied to.  They do not practice what they preach.  This victim status turns into a judgemental status.  Am I the judge?  Do I preside and decide justice?  The answer is no.  I serve a righteous God who will make sure justice prevails.  However, I am called to forgive.  I am to forgive even when not asked and further commanded to love my enemies.  Forgiveness frees my heart of bitterness, brings a stop to the decay, and brings about restoration and relationship with the Father.  Without forgiveness true relationship cannot be had with the Father.

I also must report that I had another failure tonight.  Boo.  I really did not want to have to share another flaw after my fail yesterday.  However, Kevin so graciously reminded me that this blog is giving transparency to our lives in order to humble ourselves before Him, bring Him Glory and learn life lessons in the process.  Needless to say, Kevin had to remind me of our current family memory verse. 

Kind (gracious/pleasant) words are like a honeycomb; sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 16:24

You see I was self-consumed in watching a story on the 700 Club (of all shows), and Colton was in the process of opening the back door.  I asked him not to (and I had good reasons), but he proceeded.  This is where it all went wrong.  As he opened the door I jumped up to remind him that I told him not to open the door.  He raised his voice and said, "I can open it if I want to."  I replied with a raised voice, "No you cannot open it if you want to."  I then proceeded to give one soft spank on the bum and sat him in time out right in front of the back door.  This was a horrible discipline moment.  I crushed his spirit, and the tears loudly followed.  All because I wanted to see this segment, which I ended up totally missing anyway.  Kevin kindly rebuked me and ever so calmly began to recite our memory verse.  I was caught and stunned like a deer in the headlights.  Only By God's Grace and mercy did He end up turning this ugly moment into a beautiful and tenderhearted teaching moment.  I apologized to Colton, asked him a series of questions, and basically re-enacted what should have taken place.  This was all because we are holding each other accountable, and, more importantly, the Holy Spirit has increased his vocabulary.  A little later my sweet boy (that does not get in trouble very often) was sitting with me in the recliner, and he randomly said, "Hey, Mommy, I love you."  How precious is that!  Thank you Jesus that children are so quick to forgive and forget!  Children set a great example of true forgiveness and love.  My heart just melted.

One more thing, my Colton is so funny.  God really gifted him with a great sense of humor.  He came out of mine and Kevin's shower this evening still dripping from not drying off very well.  He walked up to me and asked me if he smelled of Cranberries & Blue.  I did not quite understand at first, but then he said, "You know, handsome."  I replied with a strong yes and bear hug.  You see he was using Kevin's Old Spice body wash.  The bottle is a cranberry-red and blue color, and he knows Mommy thinks it makes Daddy smell handsome.  (I think Kevlie Ann had told him it was cranberry in color.)

This blog entry was titled A Bunch of Hodgepodge because I thought that I was going to be sharing several different stories that did not tie in very well and some other funny stuff that happened today.  It is ironic that after typing it up, the tooth story and my failure at discipline and resulting forgiveness ended up relating.  I also had some other lessons learned from Calvin today, but I have now decided that would make this post too long.  I will say that I am extremely proud of Calvin today for how hard he worked at checking all of the items off of his list when he got home from school.  He completed the jobs in record time, and he learned a lot in the process.  It brings me great joy to see him maturing into a young man.

Kevin has been reading my blogs.  I asked him if they were any good.  He replied, "Yes, but I feel like I am living them."  We laughed and I was glad that was his response because it means I am being truly transparent.

In case any of you were wondering, Kevin will be putting his tooth under his pillow.  Kevlie Ann is quite hopeful that he will receive a visit even though he is an adult.  I think Kevin is quite hopeful as well.

Only By God's Grace

With much love,

Callie Ann